A year ago we were on our way to the airport to head home from a vacation in California.  It was then I received the phone call that changed my life.  2 days later we said goodbye to my mom as she passed on to the other side.  Those 2 days we spent in the hospital were the hardest, most touching days of my life.  I have never felt so close to my siblings as I did those days, sitting in a small room at the hospital discussing our family, our feelings, and our beautiful mother.  The next hardest thing I had to do was give my boys the news that their grandma had gone to heaven.  Delivering that news nearly broke my heart, I could hardly get the words out.  I am so thankful for their final memory with her, the week prior we had gone to help her and dad pick their apricots and we were all playing and laughing.  Ethan remembers saying "goodbye Grandma, I love you."  The following days are a blur- funeral arrangements, dressing her for burial, time at the cemetery, cleaning out her closet- all difficult steps in moving on.  For several weeks I would think of calling to share something with her until I would remember I couldn't do that anymore.  My heart skips a beat whenever I catch a glimpse of a white hair lady, when I drive through Payson, if I say something she was known for saying, even when I hear others talk about their mom.   A year later I still miss her so much.  I am thankful for the gospel, for the knowledge of the eternities, for the sealing power of the temple.  I am thankful to know that she is still going strong beyond the veil, that her spirit lives and so does her smile.  If only I could hug her one more time and tell her I love her.